On Acceptance

Some days I get home from work and I am running on fumes. My energy is expended. I feel as though I have nothing more to give. On days like these, it’s easy to believe that I am spent. Done.

What do you do when you arrive home from work, when you are running on fumes, and you believe that you are done… but you also have a game session in about 2 hours?

Until recently, I would have bet on my reaction being to give in. To call it off. I don’t feel up to it so I would just bail out. Sometimes, this is the best thing… right? We are talking about a game. It’s not important. Right?

What if that is how I feel every time? What do I do when every day is exhausting and then I face this dilemma? Giving in becomes a habit… at least it did for me. The gaming stops. But it’s ok, folk will tell you, because it’s just game. It’s not important.

Except that I have discovered the opposite is true. While I do need to work and earn my income, the more important thing in my life is time spent in joyful pursuits with good people, folk who have become or are becoming my good friends.

When I don’t show up I am pushing away the most valuable thing in my life: relationships of support and friendships that will deepen my experience. An existence at work is important but not at the price of my human experience with others.

I am seeking to be grateful. I appreciate the people who invite me in for a game. Who reach out to me for a session of fantasy roleplaying. Those who take time to listen to me and help me overcome my exhaustion by accepting me as an exhausted person.

When I am on the edge of bailing, believing that it’s all too much, giving into to the emotional thinking that says, ‘You feel like crap so it must mean that everything really is crap’… when I am there, my friends are there to remind me that it’s ok not to be feeling good. They simply accept me.

Thank you to those friends who are ok with me being tired and even a little grumpy as a consequence. You listen to my pre-game rendition of doom… or equally gracefully put up with my hyper-positive outbursts on the better days. I genuinely appreciate your acceptance. Thank you.

I hope that, when the tables are reversed, I will remember to be as accepting as my friends are. To me, that is the real value of this activity we share: that I get to do it with you.

Game on!

One comment

  1. I generally get an hour of shut-eye, doesn’t matter if I sleep or not. Just lay down and totally relax for an hour. Then get up, eat something for energy and go play.

    If I am supposed to GM I might ask one of the alternate GMs to run or I might just tough it out. Beauty of being in a group where just about anyone can GM and some have the willingness to just wing it for a session.

    Liked by 1 person

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