Brain Flux

Every now and then, I experience a heightened period of mental hyperactivity, especially at night, and a high intensity of dreams. During the day, my mind wanders constantly and it becomes very difficult to focus on tasks or conversations. I’ve come to think of this as Brain Flux.

To some degree, the rigidity of daily lessons at school helps to mitigate the feeling of wandering attention that I experience when brain flux arrives. The worst times are the unstructured periods, such as when I am at home in the evenings or the weekends.

Away from external structure, my mind will wander freely across a multitude of ideas. I will have creative moments when I suddenly solve intractable problems but I will just as likely conjure nightmares of catastrophe which burst into my conscious with all the violence of explosives. It can be unnerving.

When it comes to the hobby, these are the times when I will be drawn to many different elements of play. Small ideas will magnify in my mind and demand to be expressed. I will dig out old games and books to hunt down details that suddenly seem highly important. It can be a time when ongoing games get pushed aside because my focus cannot hold true.

Brain Flux is deeply unpleasant. I usually find myself exhausted from sleep – despite many hours in the Dreamlands, I will wake as though I have not slept at all. Days become a fog of random thoughts and blurred experiences. Sometime I forget conversations and commitments that arise during these intense periods. Then, just as soon as it arrives, the whole thing is over.

I’ve been down this rabbit hole for three days now. I’m running out of energy and am beginning to feel lost. You have no idea how hard it was to type this post. Here’s hoping it ends soon.

Game on!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.