True To Oneself

As I move into my first meeting with players interested in joining my experiment with gaming focused on infinite play, deeper Otherworld-immersion, Character-focus, and moving rules behind the screen I face a personal challenge: remaining true to oneself.

One of the biggest realisations I’ve had in recent months has been the degree to which we, as gamers, do not speak openly and honestly about what we really seek from our gaming. Each one of us is unique and yet we often harbour the illusion that others gamers are much like us. I have come realise that contrary to this we each, in fact, come to the table with varying and diverse expectations, desires, and appetites.

As I sit to discuss the first game in my journey outside of the regular kind of play, I want to speak openly and listen actively to the desires of all at the table. Each of us is, I think, pretty poor at discerning our own expectations, desires, and appetites because we are largely blind to our assumptions. What I experience inside is native to me but I have to remember that each human being is a unique person – a being with their own experiences that lead to different expectations, desires, and appetites.

As a person who seeks to create a community of discovery at the gaming table in which all can feel accepted, the first step is to accept one’s own starting point. I am afraid of the exploration failing and making a fool of myself. Perhaps what I seek isn’t possible and I believe already that it won’t be easy… but what else can I do but make the attempt? Acceptance of my own fears and speaking truth about my expectations, desires, and appetites is paramount.

I suspect that I don’t really know fully what those are either – I am as blind as anyone else, I suspect – but the hope is that by doing the work, exploring the intersections between my self and the others at the table, we can uncover some deeper experience of roleplaying together. Thus, I come with a forthright trust that when we meet as friends to play with the intention to continue to play together then we can create something truly amazing.

Wish us good fortune.

Game on!

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