Before March 2020, for about 22 years, we used to play on Friday nights after work for about 3-4 hours. The group was destroyed by the pandemic and I’ve not managed to play face-to-face with (adult) gamers more than a handful of times. I truly miss the play at the week’s end.

Reflecting on my last two posts, I recognise that the death of face-to-face play during the pandemic opened up a plethora of opportunities for online play in an unprecedented way. Equally, however, the death of the stable group threw me for a loop (as we say) and unbalanced my experience of the hobby in profound ways.

Here I am at the end of the first week back at school and my overwhelming sense is that I want – no, stronger than that – need to play. I am both (finally) mourning the loss of the past and looking ahead to a future that is different. For me, play needs to come at the week’s end… somehow.

I am fortunate in that there are a couple of committed players who have arranged to meet with me online on Saturday night. We’re starting something together and I’m reasonably optimistic about the start that we’ve made. While it’s not really a full replacement of the old Friday night roleplay group, it’s a solid basis for a virtual analogue.

But I am also aware that I need to make more and deeper use of the free time I am fortunate enough to have at the end of most weeks of work. In lieu of a face-to-face group, I am going to put myself into the state of playing alone on Sunday afternoons (again). My broad approach has been to ask, “What’s the stuff I want to explore that keeps niggling at my mind?”

Whether I will find courage to put myself out into the arena of strangers for long enough to find a new face-to-face group is an open question. Given my underlying social anxiety, I have doubts… and yet I am also scanning the horizon for those opportunities. Nottingham (UK) is a big city and in a central position – who knows, eh?

I’ve come to recognise that it’s not enough to talk about, write about, and read about RPGs. I am at the point where I need to play and I need to do it at the week’s end.

Game on!