There are times in life when I feel as though I am spinning my wheels. I am full-throttle but getting nowhere. The strain is evident in my thought patterns as much as in my physical bearing. It’s frustrating but I cannot seem to get the brakes to release.
In my hobby, this feeling comes around once or twice a year. I’m in this state now and it’s truly overwhelming on an emotional level. I know that I should do something but I don’t know what. There are too many choices, too many ideas, too many possibilities.
It’s probably a symptom of my mind. The Scanner who is constantly looking to the horizon, seeking the opportunities but unable to move towards any one of them. I oscillate between excitement and exhaustion, desire and lethargy. What do I do with my time today?
The uncertainty comes from having no sense of direction. There isn’t a “right way” to go and the choices mount up. Shall I play this game, or that one? Ideas rush through my mind every day and I cannot sift through them to find the gold.
But this too shall pass. I know this sense of stuckness, of spinning my wheels, will end. There will come a point at which either I simply choose something and begin, or something is pushed in my direction and I respond. The solution is simple, I know… but knowing and acting are different things.
And so I sit here and spin my wheels a little longer. What happens next is anyone’s guess.