Over the past few weeks, I’ve been descending into a cycle of depression which has begun to lift but left me in a state of colourlessness. The experience of life goes somewhat grey and it gets hard to find joy in anything.

In an attempt to lift this pervasive mood, I had a look at another set of fringe RPG rules and tried to get excited about what they might offer. Faced with poor layout, appallingly arcane writing, and many questions unanswered by the so-called “core rules”, yeah, I gave up.

But I did find myself recognising that the one game I can rely on is GURPS… if only I could find the enthusiasm and clarity of thought to put something together. As has been so often the case in these cycles of depression, I found myself staring at the stack of books.

It’s weird how, having begun the year so positively with a new group face-to-face and playing Dungeon Fantasy, I am suddenly left with a sense of uselessness and emptiness. That sense that (once again) I am the world’s flakiest GM.

Like Rimmer facing the Self-Loathing Beast, all I seem to hear in my mind is, “Useless, useless, Rimmer, Rimmer.” In the past, I would have simply accepted the judgement of that whole internal monologue. But somehow, over the past few years, I’ve found something of an awareness of these descents.

What to do now? Turn up and hang out with your friends. Talk to them about what they’d like to play. Listen and see what might surface from the conversation. Be open to rolling dice and picking up the game. Most of all, follow Kryten’s advice:

Well, we go right at the Swamp of Despair, straight past the Wood of Humiliation and then hard left at the Chasm of Hopelessness.

Pick something up and run with it.

Game on!