How to be honest with yourself, that is a key question.
I like and am drawn to new things and I like to experiment. This is how I built a room filled with more than 4000 RPGs. I’m down to about 2000 now and working on giving away a few more. The point is that I like to collect new things, new ideas, new experiences.
But 90% of everything is crap, according to Sturgeon’s Law. This leads me to quickly discard the things that are crap (despite not being good at moving them out of my house).
The problem I wrestle with is the issue of how to recognise that stuff which truly makes your heart sing with joy. I mean, I like a lot of stuff but what do I really want to delve into and go deep with?
The first hurdle is that I like to be liked, so I want to please my friends. This leads me to offer games that I think they’ll like and that I like enough not to hate the idea of running them, But I don’t love those games, so they end up feeling crappy, and I bail on them.
The second hurdle is that I am not good at consistently doing the same thing. I am great at inventing new ways to do things, or making existing things work better, but I get bored after I’ve made something work better and have to keep doing the same stuff over and over. Sometimes games can feel like that, so I bail on them too.
The third hurdle is that I don’t really know what it means to listen to myself without the internal critic turning up. I think what I need is someone who will sit and listen – like a therapist, sort of – and allow me to work out my thinking out loud. The more I consider this idea, the more I realise that I am not comfortable with being listened to either… so I don’t really ask.
And so I find it hard to be honest with myself while I am sitting by myself.
What do you do to hear your internal truth?
Game on!
Roleplay Rescue’s Blog 
Hey Che, have you thought about recording yourself as you think out loud? I’m pretty self-conscious about being recorded, so writing works better for me. In your case, perhaps musing and being able to play it back later might provide some value?
On another topic, I am also diving back into GURPS, and use both 3rd and 4th editions. I like the fact that the GURPS character assistant works between both editions if you load the appropriate base rulesets at startup. While I do really like 4th Ed, there is so much cool material for 3rd that I often pick up 3rd Ed supplements for the inspiration. As you’ve said in many conversations, the thing about taming the GURPS beast is to only select the rules you want to use. Keep it as simple (or not) as you like!
Take care mate, and keep up the good work. Love the podcast!
Game on,
Dave
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I think the GM’s Journal is me musing out loud. I listen back a few days later and it helps me to see the themes and patterns in my thought. And, yes, GURPS is whatever we shape it to be. Thanks! 😉
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